10th Annual DSB/BWBGA SantaCon Atlanta

Sat Dec 20th!!! This will be our 10th annual DSB/BWBGA SantaCon in ATL!!!!  FB Event.  We will be hosting a Can Food Drive for Lost & Found Youth, located by the Vortex in the parking lot, and Cameli’s Pizza will be hosting a canned food drive for pets for Animal Savers Rescue! We will also be collecting donations from local bars that we frequent – these bars that donate will have “WELCOME SANTA SIGNS” on their doors/windows!!! This year’s supported charities are Lost-n-Found Youth and BWBGA. Burners Without Borders- GA will be collecting money at the event for some of our 2014 projects so if you see someone with a BWB – GA Bucket give them some cash if you can!! To see more of what BWBGA is up to go to http://www.bwbga.org/ ! AND BRING CANNED FOOD for both people and pets!! Front Page News will be hosting a Toys for Tots for the event!!  So bring you unopened, wrapped toys there!  Thank you to Front Page News for hosting this!!

Speaking of CASH!!!! BRING CASH!!! With the amount of Santa’s & all of his holiday buddies n gals we really need to all be carrying cash as there just is not enough time to run CC’s and Santa’s don’t do tabs! Just makes it easier for the bars involved. But we have also been in contact with a few other places so keep a look out for updates on where the “Official Santa Stops” are!!! A list of bars will be given before the night of the event! We hope to have the same list, or more, this year as we did last year! TIP YOUR BARTENDER!!!

Last year we had 7 bars & businesses in the area who donated on our behalf! We want to thank them and continue to work with them! All together we raised over $1100 for local charities and we hope to raise even more this year!

NO OPEN CONTAINERS! Please Santa’s – if you get a drink in a bar don’t bring it outside unless they have a patio & allow it!!! The police will fine you if they see you doing it! READ OUR RULES!!! Santa obey local and state laws!!

Please remember these rules and bring the carols with you, there will be a test!! Keep your eyes open for updates on this event page!!!

That’s right kids, it’s that time again. SantaCon is coming!! Just to remind everyone, I have listed the rules for SantaCon again. There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can’t show up for the start, get the phone number of …someone who can help you catch up later.

1. AGAIN! Santa does not make children cry. Really – If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Parents and Tourists are a different matter altogether — adjust based on their attitude.

2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It’s December. Smart Santa’s wear multiple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.

3. Santa doesn’t whine! We will be outside alot and commuting mainly on foot — bring enough “snacks” to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.

4. Bring gifts — NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at people is discouraged no matter who they are. YES THAT INCLUDES POLITICIANS. But giving out coal is always ok.

5. Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don’t be that Santa.

6. Pay for your Beer and tip the bar staff, we want to be able to this again. Bribery gets you everywhere! Also pay for your beer or drink as soon as you get it. Other Santa’s get tired of waiting on Santa’s to clear their tab before being able to move on. This entire adventure should be CASH ONLY. Credit Cards only take longer and it takes long enough to serve all of yall when we rush the bar.

7. No Santa’s left behind. Don’t go leaving one or two Santa’s in the process. Santa don’t like that. Pick a few people you know and keep an eye out for them when it’s time to move to the next location. If you don’t see them, speak up so everyone waits. Every Santa should have at least 2-3 other Santa’s they look out for and that look out for them. We don’t want to leave someone in the shitter and have them wandering around looking for us. Santa is safer in numbers. What one Santa couldn’t get away with without getting questioned, 50 can. Stick together Santa’s!

8. Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:

* Who’s in charge? “Santa”

* What organization are you with? “Santa”

* What are you protesting? “Nothing, Santa’s having a party” (note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We’d need a permit for that – and something
serious to complain about…)

* How did you get here? “A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer”

* Where are you going next? “I’m only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer.”

9. Dress the hell up! You don’t have to dress as Santa proper. That’s BORING! Variations of Santa-ness are deeply appreciated, both by those
we bring joy to – as well as the other Santarchists! Variants of elves or reindeer or what-have-you are fine as well!

10. “No blows below the belt. Keep it clean.”

11. Please realize that this indeed is an event to have a hell of a lot of fun, and of course, with the assistance of liquor. It’s not, however, an event to get shit-faced to the point that Santa’s end up insulting, fighting, degrading, or being assholes to people that run the places that we visit – or to the regular patrons that are there. Remember, we’re LUCKY that they let THIS many jackasses into their places of business – and we’d like to keep coming back. Also, there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated Santa’s- so you’ll be on your own with that, suckahs.

12. Santa’s that drink should make sure that they are also Santa’s that can drive home, or make arrangements so that they don’t need to. This is a no-brainer, but alas, I feel it needs to be said. I don’t want any casualties. We need as many soldiers for “return tours”, so to speak. With mass transit being what it is in Atlanta, we suggest bringing a designated driver and of course carpooling as much as possible or just get a hotel room. The more Santa’s in each vehicle, the fewer individuals need to remain dry.

Santa Do’s and Don’ts DO

* address every Santa as Santa, in the first, second, and third person, singular and plural.

* DO have something ready to hand out, even if it’s just candy canes.

* DO many thorough soaks of your cleaning product containers before storing liquor in them. (If you haven’t already done so, it may be too late to start now.) Santa’s that want should bring flasks cleverly disguised as pine-sol or Windex bottles.

* DO be ready for new adventure at a moment’s notice. Santa is like a shark, and must keep moving in order to thrive.

* DO uphold the hallowed tradition of Never Washing the Suit.

* Santa’s DONT advertise…..

I’m sure this will be updated again, so keep checking back and Santa will post more about this event as it gets closer.

Merry Fucking Christmas! And always remember Santa says, “Spread your Red!!!”

~~ Santa

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